WHAT CAN MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS DO TO HELP ME?
Your family and friends need to help you:
Ø Get medical attention. Get it now; they can help with transportation and paperwork.
Ø Feel safe. You do not need to be alone right now.
Ø Be believed. Your family and friends need to tell you that they believe what happened to you, was an assault and is a crime and IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.
Ø Know it was not your fault many victims feel guilt over what has happened.
Ø Help you take back control of your life. You may feel you have “lost it” friends allowing you to make decisions you can start to regain control.
Friends and Family, You Need To:
Ø Listen and do not judge: Accept what happened and be supportive.
Ø Offer Shelter. A victim does not need to be alone. Offer a place to stay or stay with the victim in their own home.
Ø Be attainable: A victim cannot choose when they feel they need to talk. It may be in the middle of the night. Let them know you are there for them…anytime. You may hear the story over and over. Listen and be supportive. Talking helps heal.
Ø Give comfort: The victim has been treated badly. They need to be nurtured even though you may not see injuries, they are there.
Ø Be patient and understanding: everyone recovers at a different rate. Don’t impose your standards on them.
Ø Encourage action: Suggest calling the police, a crisis line, the hospital. Action helps regain control. However, respect the victim’s decision if they decide not to prosecute.
Ø Don’t be overly protective. Offer options. Encourage decision making.
Ø Put aside your feelings and experiences. Deal with them somewhere else.
What Rights Do I Have In A Relationship?
Ø I have the right to an equal relationship with whomever I choose.
Ø I have the right not to dominate or be dominated.
Ø I have the right to change my mind at anytime.
Ø I have the right to start a relationship slowly.
Ø I have the right to be myself without changing to suite others.
Ø I have the right to change the relationship as my feeling change.
Ø I have the right to dress and act as I choose without promising to have sex.
Ø I have the right to say “NO”.
Who Can I Call For Help?
Womens Crisis Service (Marion County), 399-7722
Sable House (Polk County), 623-4033
Salem Police Department, 588-6123 ext 3
Keizer Police Department, 390-3713
Marion County Sheriff’s Office, 588-5032
Polk County Sheriff’s Office, 364-8461
Victim Assistance (Marion County), 588-5253
Victim Assistance (Polk County) ,623-9268This information provided by, or adapted from information provided by, Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service.